Since the beginning of December I have made a constant effort to except my husbands challenge to Be Kind NO MATTER WHAT. I have struggled with my feeling towards certain people in our lives and what I believe to be their real intent. And as I have let go of responding and communicating with this person, and just been kind when I have had to- I have come to find more peace in my life, because I'm not always trying to figure out "what is meant" and "how it was intended."
I have found myself more concerned with who I am and who the Lord really needs me to be.
Before December I was suffering with depression, severe anxiety which caused rapid heart rate, to the point of loosing my breath, & acid reflex in my throat daily for hours. Since I excepted my sweet Husbands challenge I only rarely have these symptoms, and it is usually from my failing and having unkind thoughts.
For 4 years I thought my way was the right way...."responding is the kind thing," "being helpful is kind." Brian finally said to me "Sometimes the kind thing is to leave it all alone, and not respond." He was SO right...I only wish I would have listen 4 years ago. He is such a good example of just not responding when he's being pushed & bullied...of course he has failed, but
I am SO grateful I have FINALLY decided to make this change in my life. "I really am THE ONLY ONE who can change me, and I can't change anyone else...ONLY ME!"
I am in awe every time I apply the Lord teachings- how His promises are sure...how He asks us to give Him our burden, and how light then the burden becomes. I have also realize I "vent/complain" less to those around me about my problems because I seem to have less problems.
In Ephesians 4:31-32 it says "Let all bitterness, and wrath, ad anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you...and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving on another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
The MOST beautiful & glorious news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, is the opportunity that we have to be whole because the Savior suffered all pains, afflictions, & sickness that He might know exactly how to heal us. I have experience the FULL and beautiful sweet forgiveness, and I am grateful to continue daily to seek His sweet peace and tender mercy in my weakness.
This past week I have been studying "Contention" & I realized being kind is the best way to rid my life of contention and the feelings, anger & confusion it brings into my life. 3 Nephi 11:29 says "...he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another."
I do not want something that invites the devil and his influences into my life...or into my marriage. It was a spirit I was allowing in my home daily through my anger and hate. Even if I thought I was hiding it well, I know I wasn't.
I don't know if any of you struggle with unkind thoughts or saying things that are hurtful, or speaking ill of someone. But I am sharing this post to testify the Lords promises are sure! He will help and lift and strengthen, but we have to ask, seek, and repent. I am so grateful for a gaining a testimony of something that I am sure is easy for most....KINDNESS!